Many times on this blog, in interviews and in my speeches, 我谈到了三个“启示”，它们改变了我对成为领导者意味着什么的看法.
Of the three, 当我谈到将另一个人视为“某人的宝贝孩子”时，总是会产生最多的反应.“它引起了深刻的共鸣，因为它是一个非常相关的比喻，让你停下来思考外围十大菠菜app应该如何看待和对待身边的人。.
即使是那些与父母关系不正常的人也能理解——甚至很可能渴望——被当作宝贝孩子对待的爱和安全感.
The sense of feeling like you matter.
At the end of the day, this is what we all crave. Mattering is one of the most basic human needs, beyond food and shelter. 和 that is why, 其核心是, 真正的人类领导力是关于确保你在生活中遇到的人知道他们是谁，他们做什么是重要的. 在我的人生旅途中，我发现养育子女和领导能力之间有着惊人的相似之处. Both are a profound responsibility and a privilege.
New York Times columnist David Brooks recently released a new book titled How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen. 我经常读他的专栏，所以我看了他在新书发行前后接受的几次采访. 我很高兴看到他的观点与外围十大菠菜app在巴里-韦赫米勒教授的内容以及外围十大菠菜app试图与世界分享的内容如此一致.
这是 a quote from a column David wrote introducing his book:
People want to connect. Above almost any other need, 人类渴望另一个人用爱和接纳的目光看着自己的脸. 问题在于，外围十大菠菜app缺乏实用的知识，不知道如何给予彼此所渴望的关注. 有些时候，外围十大菠菜app似乎故意建立了一个社会，在如何进行生活中最重要的活动方面，给人们很少的指导……
我经常采访一些人，他们告诉我，他们觉得自己被忽视、不被尊重:黑人觉得，折磨他们日常经历的系统性不平等，没有被白人理解, people who live in rural areas feeling they are overlooked by coastal elites, people across political divides staring at one another with angry incomprehension, depressed young people who feel misunderstood by their parents and everyone else, 丈夫和妻子意识到最了解他们的人实际上对他们是谁一无所知.
David goes on to explain that he spent four years writing his book, because he wanted it to be practical. He wanted to write a book that was a guide to “teach people how to understand others, how to make them feel respected, valued and understood.”
This journey mirrors ours at Barry-Wehmiller. It is why we created our own internal Barry-Wehmiller University. 外围十大菠菜app还觉得，外围十大菠菜app的社会在帮助他人感觉自己很重要的基本技能方面提供的指导很少. It is certainly not taught in schools or universities.
David goes on to say in his column:
I wanted to learn these skills for utilitarian reasons. 如果我要和某人一起工作，我不想只看到他表面的技术能力. I want to understand him more deeply — to know whether he is calm in a crisis, comfortable with uncertainty or generous to colleagues.
I wanted to learn these skills for moral reasons. If I can shine positive attention on others, I can help them to blossom. If I see potential in others, they may come to see potential in themselves. True understanding is one of the most generous gifts any of us can give to another.
Finally, I wanted to learn these skills for reasons of national survival. We evolved to live with small bands of people like ourselves. Now we live in wonderfully diverse societies, but our social skills are inadequate for the divisions that exist. We live in a brutalizing time.
We wanted Barry-Wehmiller to be built on principles of caring, so we needed to teach the skills of caring. 外围十大菠菜app需要培训外围十大菠菜app的领导者，让他们超越传统的“管理”，传统的“管理”让外围十大菠菜app把人看作是一种功能，让他们做外围十大菠菜app想做的事，这样外围十大菠菜app就能成功, not because we care about them.
和, like I wrote above, 把外围十大菠菜app旁边的人想象成某人的宝贝孩子有助于改变这种动态. 当外围十大菠菜app承认它们固有的尊严和人性时，它们就不是一种功能或作用. They are a person, 应该得到我对自己孩子同样的照顾，也应该得到别人的照顾.
外围十大菠菜app还需要教导外围十大菠菜app的领导人在他们的照顾范围内认识和庆祝人民. In business, we are quick to let people know what they did wrong. As I’ve said many times, 外围十大菠菜app都很熟悉这种情绪:“我做对了10件事，一个字也没听进去;做错了一件事，我被骂了一顿。.”
Traditional management teaches us to look for the errors or exceptions, to look for opportunities to improve. 当面对一种新的思维方式——专注于发现人们做对了事情——的挑战时，大多数管理者都会做出回应, “Why would I thank them for doing their job? That’s what they are paid to do.“但这种观点再次将一个人贬低为一个功能，而不是某人的宝贝孩子.
作为父母, 外围十大菠菜app了解到，你需要发现你的孩子做正确的事情，而不是你建议他们做得更好的事情，否则他们很难听到改进的方法. 成年人也是如此，因此，深思熟虑的认可和庆祝的“艺术”是关键的领导技能.
和大卫一样，外围十大菠菜app也意识到移情倾听是人类最伟大的技能. As he said in his column, “People are not as clear as they think they are, and we’re not as good at listening as we think we are.”
我经常写关于外围十大菠菜app的基础课程“像领导者一样倾听”对外围十大菠菜app团队成员的变革效果. 外围十大菠菜app从团队成员那里得到的最一致的反馈是，这门课改变了他们的生活. I've seen people cry as they share how the course saved their marriage. 和 I know it is the answer to many issues our society is facing.
Listening is the most important thing we, as humans, can do for one another. It shows the person you are listening to that they matter. It honors their dignity. 这样做的目的不仅仅是为了获得你需要的信息，而是为了满足对方的需求，倾听他或她的感受, listening allows us to connect and better understand each other.
这是所有有意义的关系的关键，因为它表明你尊重和关心你正在倾听的人. 这是帮助大卫说他遇到的那些感觉被忽视或不被尊重的人感觉自己很重要的关键.
“Be a loud listener,” David wrote. “当另一个人说话时，你想要积极倾听，这样你就可以燃烧卡路里了.”
At Barry-Wehmiller, we measure success by the way we touch the lives of others. 外围十大菠菜app试图在公司内部树立和传授的所有《外围十大菠菜app》原则，以及外围十大菠菜app在公司外部传播这一重要信息的努力，都是外围十大菠菜app成功理念的一部分. You could almost say building a better world is one of our KPIs!
We want to be a force against the “brutalizing time,” as David calls it. We do believe Truly Human 领导 can heal divisions and help people feel seen.
So, David Brooks, we’re glad to have you on board this journey. 如果你想比较一下笔记，甚至参加外围十大菠菜app的“像领导者一样倾听”课程, we’d love to have you.
要改变外围十大菠菜app周围世界的调子，需要很多声音和谐地歌唱.